What talents do you need to share?

"What we do for ourselves dies with us, what we do for others lives for ever" - Richard Pine (heard on Criminal Minds)
Over the last few months I have been discovering the joys of the RTE late night TV schedule. We got a new DVD recorder and I'm getting to see more TV than I have for a long time. One of my favourites has been "Lie to me". For those of you not familiar with the series, it's about a man gifted with the ability to read facial micro expressions (Cal Lightman) and so ascertain if someone is telling the truth or not. (What adds some interest to the show is the insertion of video clips of celebrities, demonstrating these same expressions )
In the episode "Sacrifice" (episode listings)
Lightman tells his protege that her great talent for reading micro expressions was no longer hers and that it came with a sacrifice. Sacrifice always sounds ominous and a big no-no but if it was framed as a choice...for example, those of us who are parents regularly make "sacrifices" in terms of the choices we make and while at times we may grumble ( I know I do!) we accept this as the flipside of the gift we have been given.
And "talents" in this sense can sometimes appear humdrum to the user (we often take our own talents for granted) So here are some questions to get you thinking..

•What do you do really easily that other people have commented to you on? It could be a gift for dressing well or being organised or knowing what to say in a difficult situation.
•Who do you know in your life could benefit from this gift ? ( I don't mean that you now rush into your co-worker's office and tell them how to get organised :-) but is there someone you could quietly extend a helping hand to, using this talent?
•If you have already identified something you have a talent for...how could you deepen and expand it e.g. if you know you have a talent for reading a group..is there a course you could take to expand it? Someone you could shadow to learn how to bring it to the next level?
So what talents does the world need that you are not sharing?

•Here are some clues about talents that you may not be aware of..
◦Are there TV programmes that you watch that you think wistfully...I'd love to do that...
◦Any one you are jealous of..."why did they get to do that..I'd love that!"
◦Something that regularly comes up on your "100 things to be/do/have before I die" list - but you haven't done anything about.
◦There are people/issues who when they come on the radio/TV you find yourself arguing with them
◦Do you have shelves full of books on particular people or topics?
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•If you have identified a talent...what is a way in which you could "have a drink" with this talent as opposed to proposing marriage. E.g. if you notice that you have a passion for fast cars..could you schedule a day on a racetrack before spending a fortune souping up your Ford Fiesta :-)
One of the reasons I believe it is so important that we share our talents is that (a) to quote Barbara Sher it's damn selfish if we don't. Think what a poorer world we would live in without the joy of each other's talents. (b) the world is changing so fast that I suspect we are going to need more people's untapped talents than ever before. And focussing on how you can HELP and SERVE is a lot more empowering than wondering what people will think....

So why not let me know how you are going to uncover/develop your talents??

Making friends with failure - even if you don't want to

The idea of failure is an odd one. One person's spectacular success is another's failure. And yet, it's inevitable. I don't know about you but when I look back over my life I've got quite a few failures I could catalogue: failed diets, credit card debt, failed friendships, failed business endeavours, failed romantic relationships, failed jobs.
I could tell you about how they have all led to the spectacular success I enjoy now (isn't that how tales of failure usually end up? "Yes, I lived in a hole in the road but now I live in a 14 bedroom mansion." blah blah blah).
But I could also take the novelist's stance and look at my life through the eyes of someone else and what's visible then? Work I enjoy and love (mostly), a happy marriage, nearly debt-free, a fat body, strong spiritual life, good friends and a lot of joy.
I did a major declutter over Christmas and while doing that I came across a journal with a lot of entries of what I wanted to happen - including mundane stuff like getting the bathroom tiled etc - and what astonished me was how much of it had come to pass. What was humbling (and if I'm honest - a bit confusing) was that the areas where I had made little or no progress e.g. losing weight were ones I spent a lot of time thinking about...so it was almost as if the ones that I had given weight to (sorry!) didn't happen. But the ones that I had just written down..just seemed to occur - maybe not in an instant time frame..but they happened.
I reflected on this and what occurred to me was that it was the fear of failure piece that really got me. So one of the ideas I am experimenting with this year is the idea of moving my focus onto a cheerful acceptance that I may very well fail anyway..so it's worth trying a few things..and to work on getting the emotional significance off it for me.

In Nature, failure is the main reality. How many seeds germinate and grow into full blown plants? How many animals get to raise all their young all the time? Are the ones who get eaten by birds or animals failures?
The reality is that failure is a reality for all of us. My question to you today is..if you have an area of your life that you want to change but you are afraid of failing...what would it look like if you decided to give it your best shot but accepted that maybe even this would not give you your desired result.
Imagine the lightness/creativity/fun that would emerge from this approach.